Niles Standish
Character Information
Gender Male
Species Human
Family Louise (Goddaughter)
Age Unknown
Production Information
Tony Barbieri

Niles Standish is the British Earl of Yankerville


  • Portrait Studio: Niles wants some portrait work of him done, of him (sexually) on top of 3 Irishmen in the nude
  • Niles Needs A New Suite: Niles calls "a Doll Shop" to have clothing made for him, and breaks the 4th wall
  • Invitations: Niles wants a woman named Betty to make invitations to "an Ass-Slapping Contest"
  • Niles Hires A Receptionist: Niles keeps interrupting the receptionist he wants to hire
  • Wedding planner: Niles plans a Wedding between him and his Aunt Gertie
  • Niles calls a Ranch: Niles wants to go on a trip to a Ranch and be an American Cowboy
  • Hot Air Balloon Ride: Niles wants to make hot manlove in a hot air balloon and join the Mile High Balloon Club
  • Assistants: Niles wants assistants for things he doesn't want to get his hands dirty doing anymore, like peeing and being fed
  • A Chamber of Commerce: Niles wants to build a rehab center for Sex Offenders, called The Lollipop House
  • Niles the Godfather: Niles gets a call meant for his goddaughter Louise, from a sexy young man on
  • Caulk: Niles wants a Caulk (which he thought was a Cock)